11.20.12 - Jaipur

So busy the last few days, taking today to catch up on a few things.  Like my brain needs a break or something.

Monday morning I went to the family's house for breakfast and ended up staying for hours again.  Ate breakfast, chopped okra with Sunita and Maya, they painted me with more henna.  They dressed me up again, this time in traditional Rajasthani clothing, being tie-dye fabrics (Rajasthan is the state where Jaipur is located).  Then we took more and more pictures, they love this.  Then we walked to pick up Nandini from school.  It is her birthday on the 26th, and although I had planned to move on from Jaipur, the have made me promise I will make it back in time for the party.  I tell them yes, I will be in Pushkar for a few days starting on the 23rd then will be back.  It seems very important to them, and I have given them my word.

Early afternoon I feel like I need some space, I am American after all.  Not used to being with people all the time, being the center of attention, being waited on.  I like my space so I get an auto rickshaw into town, to Chandurasta looking for more books to read.  There are bookstores after bookstores, not most are selling exam books for college.  I find a bookstore that sells English novels where I buy 2 books and a "Learn Hindi" book.  I think I better pick up a few words, seeing as I am in their country after all.  Getting hungry by this point, I duck into a small vegetarian restaurant and take a seat in the back.  Not recognizing many things on the menu, I ask for potatoes, tomatoes and garlic with rice, and it it turns out to be the most amazing thing ever!  I think there was a whole cluster of garlic in there, which I loved.  And don't have to feel bad about since I am not the only one who has spices seeping through their pores.  No one will notice, I presume.  And of course I start the meal with tomato soup!  As I am sitting there, a young Indian man comes up to me and strikes up a conversation while I am eating.  We talk for some time.  Indians have so much advice to offer, unsolicited of course, but not unwelcome.  Full of anecdotes, theories, sayings and jokes.  He invites me to go for a beer, and I oblige since it is early, but don't intend to stay out late.  After a long bicycle driven rickshaw ride, we arrive at a fancy hotel by the railway station.  Definitely unlike anything I have seen in India, with neon lights, clean and immaculate tiles, modern furniture.  I feel maybe he is trying to impress me.  

Good conversation, but I realize now that he is wanting to be something more than friends, and I think it best to call it a night and head home.  It is hard to understand intentions here, and hard to project mine as well.  I am always looking for friends and people to talk to, but nothing more at this point.  Without knowing their social traditions I find I can be a little misleading.  For example, having a drink with someone is harmless, but I now see it means something else here.  Not to mention what Indians, if not the world over, have heard about American girls.  The problem I find here, except for the family who has taken me in, women will not really speak to me.  It is the men who are interested to talk to me, but it is hard to know their intentions.  Not that they are always sinister, but more often than not they want something whether it be to sell something etc.  Viraj has asked me to meet him tomorrow and I agree, thinking still that I might.  But once I get home I realize I am not interested in pursuing that friendship.

Although I called Chander to let him know I would not be meeting the family for dinner, when I arrive at the hotel he tells me that the family was waiting for me.  I think they had prepared something for me and even invited guests over to meet me.  I feel a little bad, but I had told him my plans, although I see they had made their own plans for me.  The next morning I arrive at their home and apologize and again they have been waiting for me.  They take me to one of their neighbor's house, where they sit me near a desk and again feed me chai, although I decline because I already had 3 cups at breakfast.  And a tray of different snacks.  They love to bring out snacks (but apparently only for special guests as I am told).  I taste each one to be polite, but to be honest they do not suit my palette for the most part.  Their sweets confuse my tastebuds and I swallow hesitantly but again to try to be graceful.  After only taking a sample of each, they mention over and over to have more, but I have to decline.  The neighbor and his business partner are there, showing me their product, soap for laundry, cars etc.  They wonder if they would be able to market it in the US, but I am unable to give them business advice in this aspect.  They seem disappointed, but take my mail ID and promise to write.  After some time Sunita and Maya tell me it's time to leave, we are going to the village where Sunita's parents and family live. 

At the end of a long and bumpy auto rickshaw ride, we arrive at the large 25-room home where many family members live.  I couldn't count them if I tried, or to how many I was introduced.  Such warm and welcoming people.  All afternoon I am introduced to the women, children and sometimes the men come in to say hello.  The women mostly don't speak English, but the children have been studying in English medium schools, so they translate some and are so excited to practice their English with a native speaker.  They ask question after question, all interrupting each other.  "What is your favorite animal?"  "Who is your favorite Hollywood actor and actress? And in Bollywood?"  Have you ever been drunk before?"  "What kind of vegetables do you eat in the USA?"  "What is your favorite fruit?"  "How many brothers and sisters do you have?"  "What do your parents do?"  "What is your job in the USA?"  "Are you married or single?"  "Why are you single?"  "Who did your henna?"  "Will you drink some more water?"  "Are you tired?  Please sleep."  I feel overwhelmed but know it is all good.  The girls brush my hair, telling me how silky it is.  The women sit around and all tell me how beautiful I am.  This is something I am trying to get used to, this doting attention.  We look different but all of the women are so beautiful themselves, but my response as such sounds obligatory when I speak.  I am taken around the block and introduced to more people, me smiling and nodding, not understanding what is being said, except that this is my new American sister.  They tell my story to everyone, that I am going to Pushkar for 3 days then returning for Nandini's birthday.  By later afternoon I am absolutely exhausted from this constant cycle of, "Nice to meet you," "You have a beautiful family," "Thank you for welcoming me into your home."  I take a napa while the women gossip.  The children play in the outside.  I am shown 2 wedding albums.  With each turn of the page they point to each person and tell me their names, even if we have seen the same person 30 times.  Their weddings are so colorful, so rich with customs and traditions.  I am asked to return to India for Nandini's wedding.  She will be 6 on the 26th, so there is time.  What I worry is that they are completely serious and will be incredibly disappointed when I don't show up in 20 years.  They will not forget.  Sunita's sisters-in-law ask me to stay for one month, in their home.  They want me to be a fixture in their large boisterous family.  I thank them for the offer, but cannot answer this question.  The girls say I must spend the night, but after my nap I am still so exhausted from this attention and only want a proper bed.  So unadventurous of me, I know.

Dinner time comes and they serve dal, rice, spicy cauliflower, spinach and chipatthi with raw onions and tomatoes.  Food is brought and brought until I cannot eat anymore and must refuse.  Chander arrives and we are finally able t go back into town.  Before I go, I realize that plans have already been made for me for the next day.  In the evening some friends are having a traditional Rajasthani birthday celebration in a temple and I must join.  I agree, and think to myself that I will relax during the day.  

I cannot tell you how incredibly warm and friendly and welcoming everyone has been to me.  Maya and Sunita, most of all.  But I cannot help feeling like a novelty, being dragged along, being shown off as their new American friend.  I appreciate their sincerity of it all, but it is tiresome.  Getting used to this new way of life!  And in that way, I am practically vegetarian after eating veg for 4 days!  Longest stretch of my life doing that, I would bet!